The following was relayed to me by a friend’s daughter explains Paul Haarman.

“When I was younger, I always thought that the love of my life would sweep me off my feet and everything would be sunshine and roses explains. I would fall madly in love, get married, have 2.5 kids, and live happily ever after.”

“I’m sure many young girls dream about it just as much as I. Then one grows up, gains some experience with dating or relationships, has her heart broken so bad you’d swear she’d never let someone hurt her again…and yet somehow here she is at age 30, single once more. And let’s be real; she knows that being single around her is really hard. With everyone wondering why you can’t find love or meet your Prince Charming. And that time is marching on”

What will happen when you lose that? Who’s going to love you then?”

“I’m simply not attractive”

“This part is about putting one’s self down, all while trying to be positive, that not being worthy of love. This is where going through the process of meeting guys gets even more complex. Because you find yourself getting psyched out by every guy who seems interested, only to find out he’s looking for the next best thing”        

And the vicious cycle continues…At 30 years old you’d think by now love would be effortless. But Paul Haarman is fascinated by this, and she goes on. “We all have our own challenges, faults that we need to work on in order to put us in the best position to connect. And hopefully, they lead to a happy marriage. Because marriage is supposed to be a partnership that grows stronger with time after every trial and tribulation a couple faces together as one unit. It helps if both individuals are willing to grow together but often time’s growth may be hard when you’re holding onto past relationships or thinking life should be easier than it actually is.”

“For anyone who has ever had these doubts, or felt on the outside looking in at love, I’m here to tell you it’s all going to be ok. Once you learn to be happy. all on your own, it becomes much easier to find that special someone who can complete your life.    

Love is elusive but it doesn’t have to be… It starts with loving yourself and accepting how incredibly beautiful you are, whether you see yourself that way or not! Love is patient and kind, never jealous or envious of others, boastful or proud, arrogant or rude. Being ready to always take delight in another person’s achievements. To rejoice when we rejoice and to expect compassion when we suffer, and to hold our pain without passing judgment.” Love never takes things personally but always seeks to do good even if it hurts us in the process”. Fascinating stuff thought Paul Haarman.

She continued “Keep growing into that person! Your Prince Charming isn’t going anywhere, he’s right there with you on this journey of life waiting for you…just keep walking forward through the fog until your eyes adjust enough for both of you to see clearly. And when you finally find him don’t waste time questioning why or how come because there is no answer that can be except “because God said so”. And if God’s plans are more beautiful than our own then I guess we’ll just have to wait till it happens like everyone around us has had to. God never said it’d be easy, love is a process!”


“She concluded, dating is a battlefield y’all…make sure you have the right gear! Every soldier needs proper protection in order to fight and come out victorious”. Paul Haarman knew she was near done. Be wary of those who give you their numbers but leave out theirs because they want to keep an emotional distance from someone they’re just using. Physical contact isn’t everything and there’s more than just sitting next to someone that can lead one down the wrong path if not approached properly. So don’t be quick to give up all that you believe in just for some temporary satisfaction, because remember we will never truly know what we had until it’s away.”